Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Not Toyota

Well, I found out about next year.

(As a reminder, my school has used stimulus funding to add an assistant to each classroom. In some cases, these assistants are certified teachers as well- and that's the position I was in this year.)

When I talked with the principal, he sounded like he definitely wanted to move me to a different room for a different experience. I think, based on my evaluations this year, he wants to see if my discipline is better with a different lead teacher. That's fair; I know it wasn't a strength this year even though I didn't have much control over the system.

There are 4 regular classroom openings yet to be filled, but despite that- I'm in an assistant position again for next year. I'll be in first grade with a teacher that is TBA.

It's tough. The openings are there, but my principal just doesn't trust me enough to give me my own classroom yet. My preference was 2nd or 3rd grade, but I'm in 1st. I have to stay in the assistant position but not stay with my current lead teacher, who I work with well and who I know will let me teach.

I understand that he wants me to have a different learning opportunity, but I can't even tell myself, "He specifically put me with this teacher to make me better." Right now, he hasn't put me with any teacher.

I have a job, and I know that in the world of education right now (and especially our state), that alone is an incredible blessing. But although I try to be optimistic, it's frustrating at times to be stuck as a half-teacher. I am certified. I am licensed. And I think, given the chance, I can do this.

But I think I've lost more confidence this year than I've gained. I thought my discipline was fine during student teaching, but this class and group were entirely different. Honestly, after talking with the principal, I expected to be an assistant again- but it still makes me feel like I'm starting over and, after an entire year, I'm not moving forward.


Bradley Garwood said...

Well, it beats having to wait for a response for a whole summer. Which, by the way, what DOES a teacher in your position do in the summer?

it's probably all OTAs.

But I'm glad you were, renewed? is that word to use? Even though you're not where you really want to be, it's must feel good to be teaching.

luckeyfrog said...

For now, I'm teaching summer school for 6 weeks.

After that... I'm probably helping with science camp for about a week and then who knows. I'll probably do some things to prepare for the coming year and whenever I have my own classroom. Other than that, I think I'll be doing just about nothing. Maybe wedding planning- I should really do something on that front.

I know a few teachers who generally find another job for the summer, though. A lot of teachers have kids, too, so they usually stay home with their families.