Monday, March 24, 2008

i say weird a lot in this one

I don't often remember my dreams. When I do, they're usually really weird, and transition from one into the next seamlessly. I'll go down a hallway in my house and suddenly I'm at my high school, and it doesn't even seem strange.

I realized the other day that I was having a weird dream in this strange sort of hotel where I've had dreams multiple times before. I think it's inspired in part by the cruise ship, large hotels I've been to, my middle school, anywhere with secret passageways, and maybe even the movie Titanic. I don't even know. Seriously, it's weird.

Usually in my dreams in this hotel, things start out relatively calm, but by the end of my dream I'm rushing around in a hurry, trying to get from one place to another or find someone in some sort of crisis or minor crisis. It's a confusing place, and I just keep going up and down elevators and stairs and hallways and passageways and around a stage and... it's just crazy, and usually includes some assortment of people I actually know and people my mind made up. One time someone let these huge dog-things loose and they were knocking into pillars and walls and running over people (which, now that I think about it, is something reminiscent of a combination of Shadow of the Colossus and The Running of the Bulls).

Anyway, I had a dream kind of like that again the other day, only this time I was on a family vacation and at first just hanging out with Steve. But it started to storm, and for some reason the ceiling of this place was a dome, but it was leaking. And not like the GeorgiaDome in recent news (although that probably inspired the dream, at least in part)... it was as though the dome material was porous, and basically when it started raining hard at all, water started pouring down from all parts of the ceiling.

Steve and I decided to rush up and check on our room, to see if there was anything out that would be ruined. We met Mom along the way, and she was headed to her room for the same reason. I think we just assumed Bill was on his way. We were going up the complicated series of elevators (for those of you that ever played SimTower, it was kind of like if you made multiple elevator shafts that didn't all go to all floors), as the water kept raining on us, when I woke up.

It was a weird dream, but not much weirder than a lot of weird dreams I've had before. The part that stuck out to me, though, was the realization that even in my dream, I had thought that my mom had her own room because my dad wasn't around anymore.

For some reason, it made me really sad that my subconscious is so used to my dad being gone that even in this dream world, where anything is possible, he was still gone. I know it'll have been ten years this June, so it's understandable that my mind is used to thinking of my family as a family of four now, but it just makes me sad.

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